Tag: Picks

The Seeders Cup IV | Leg 4 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Steelers/Seahawks/Saints
The Big Tuna: Steelers/Saints/Ravens
Little Tuna: Patriots/Ravens/Falcons
Wise Orangutan: Ravens/Seahawks/Patriots
The Strategist: Steelers/Saints/Ravens
Kal Krome: Steelers/Seahawks/Saints
B-Reezy: Steelers/Seahawks/Rams
Atwork: Steelers/Saints/Ravens
Craft Brew: Steelers/Patriots/Saints

Featured Analyst of the Week

The Wise Orangutan

Our Celebrity Analyst Roasters:
The Bookie: There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise. The Wise Orangutan has never been known to send a reader to the dictionary. He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any analysis I met. When he worked at a call center he changed his name to Who-rang-utang. I’m not trying to insinuate he’s a bad analyst. He’s just not a good one.

Little Tuna: Wise O invented this game, right? Means he made the rules and everything, right? So he should be an expert on this game, right? Soooo, he must be winning every time. I mean. What idiot can’t win his own game??

Big Tuna: Big Tuna walks up to the mike. Clears his throat. And says “Dummkopf.” Then stutters “hilahilaʻole.” Then laughs while saying “leathcheann”. Finally walks away muttering “stultus”.

Kal Krome: How dumb is the Wise Orangutan? He puts suntan lotion on his bananas so they don’t peel!

B-Reezy: Your picks remind me of a saying, “Go back to fucking fourth grade”!

Atwork: Huh😴

Craft Brew: What happen if you cross a parrot with Wise O??
Nobody is sure. But if they opened its Mouth to speak. You’d listen!

The Strategist is sick with a fever. We all wish her well. 😘

Happy New Year to All!!!

The Pick Results Are In:

The Bookie: Steelers/Seahawks/Saints(2)
The Big Tuna: Steelers/Saints(2)/Ravens
Little Tuna: Patriots(4)/Ravens/Falcons(1)
Wise Orangutan: Ravens/Seahawks/Patriots(4)
The Strategist: Steelers/Saints(2)/Ravens
Kal Krome: Steelers/Seahawks/Saints(2)
B-Reezy: Steelers/Seahawks/Rams
Atwork: Steelers/Saints(2)/Ravens
Craft Brew: Steelers/Patriots(4)/Saints(2)

Playoff clinchers (week 17):

Patriots | Homefield Advantage | 4 points

Saints | Division Title | 2 points (clinched despite losing)

Falcons | Playoff Berth | 1 points

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The Seeders Cup IV | Leg 3 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams/Steelers/Chiefs
The Big Tuna: Saints/Chiefs/Steelers
Little Tuna: Patriots/Eagles/Chiefs
Wise Orangutan: Ravens/Chiefs/Eagles
The Strategist: Panthers/Steelers/Eagles
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Steelers
B-Reezy: Chiefs/Ravens/Panthers
Atwork: Eagles/Saints/Ravens
Craft Brew: Steelers/Rams/Ravens

Craft Brew: “What do Santa’s elves drive??”

Bookie: “Gee, I don’t know. What do they drive?

Craft Brew: “Toy-otas minivans!!!”

Happy Holidays and a New Year to All!!!

The Pick Results Are In:

The Bookie: Rams (2)/Steelers(3)/Chiefs(2) (8 points)
The Big Tuna: Saints(1)/Chiefs(2)/Steelers(3) (7 points)
Little Tuna: Patriots(3)/Eagles(4)/Chiefs(2) (10 points)
Wise Orangutan: Ravens/Chiefs(2)/Eagles(4) (7 points)
The Strategist: Panthers(1)/Steelers (3)/Eagles(4) (9 points)
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints(1)/Steelers (3) (5 points)
B-Reezy: Chiefs(2)/Ravens/Panthers(1) (4 points)
Atwork: Eagles(4)/Saints(1)/Ravens (6 points)
Craft Brew: Steelers (3)/Rams(2)/Ravens (6 points)

Playoff clinchers (week 16):

Rams | Division Title | 2 points

Panthers | Playoff Berth | 1 point

Saints | Playoff Berth | 1 point

Patriots | First-round Bye | 3 points

Chiefs | Division Title | 2 points

Steelers | First-round Bye | 3 points

Eagles | Homefield Advantage | 4 points

 

 

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The Seeders Cup IV | Leg 2 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams/Chiefs/Patriots
The Big Tuna: Saints/Ravens/Panthers
Little Tuna: Patriots/Eagles/Saints
Wise Orangutan: Ravens/Saints/Eagles
The Strategist: Ravens/Saints/Eagles
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Steelers
B-Reezy: Eagles/Saints/Ravens
Atwork: Patriots/Saints/Ravens
Craft Brew: Ravens/Saints/Eagles

The Analyst of the Week

!!! Big Tuna !!!!

The Bookie: Big Tuna is a big fish in the WFTL. He’s humble enough to know he’s not better than anybody else and wise enough to know that he’s different from the rest. How is he different you ask? He doesn’t even need alcohol to make really really bad Picks. He was the first to win a race, had a race named after him and was the model for WFTL trophy BUT with all these early accomplishments the Big Tuna went belly up with just an occasional bubble. Will Big Tuna float up to the surface and roast in the sun or will he breach the waters and represent Pacific Life as he replaces the hump back whale! Oooh…

Little Tuna: So you guys think that the Big Tuna is a smart analyst? I once saw the guy light a cigarette and stick it behind his ear because he needed both his hands. Burned hair smells very bad!!

The Wise Orangutan: How many times does Big Tuna have to finish in second place before he realizes that Bill Belicheat is giving him bum information that favors Little Tuna? Or that The Clearinghouse is Wise Orangutan, and that he changes the rules every month to box out Big Tuna.

The Strategist: Goes up to microphone. Blushes furiously. Giggles and says, “Tasty!”

Kal Krome: Well, he may be Big Tuna on the surface but don’t let that fool anyone. Who ever heard of roasted tuna? You can fillet him, bake him, grill him, fry him, or can him BUT on the inside he’s a big melt!! In the ocean they say the big fish wins. Then hmmm…. Perhaps swimming would be a safer bet.

Craft Brew: This is what Big Tuna is processing when he’s making his picks!!

Image from nedmartin.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

B-Reezy: You sure don’t know how to pick-em!

Atwork: giggle giggle giggle. Still laughing at his last roast

The Results Are In:

The Bookie:  Rams/Chiefs/Patriots (3 points)
The Big Tuna:  Saints/Ravens/Panthers (1 point)
Little Tuna:  Patriots/Eagles/Saints (6 points)
Wise Orangutan:  Ravens/Saints/Eagles (4 points)
The Strategist:  Ravens/Saints/Eagles (4 points)
Kal Krome:  Seahawks/Saints/Steelers
B-Reezy:  Eagles/Saints/Ravens (4 points)
Atwork:  Patriots/Saints/Ravens (3 points)
Craft Brew:  Ravens/Saints/Eagles (4 points)

Playoff clinchers:

Patriots | Division Title | 2 points

Eagles | First-round Bye| 3 points

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The Seeders Cup IV | Leg 1 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams/Chiefs/Patriots
The Big Tuna: Saints/Steelers/Patriots
Little Tuna: Patriots/Eagles/Seahawks
Wise Orangutan: Vikings/Falcons/Eagles
The Strategist: Panthers/Steelers/Chiefs
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Steelers
B-Reezy: Chiefs/Saints/Steelers
Atwork: Eagles/Steelers/Patriots
Craft Brew: Steelers/Seahawks/Patriots

The Results Are (Coming) In:

The Bookie: Rams/Chiefs/Patriots
The Big Tuna: Saints/Steelers/Patriots
Little Tuna: Patriots/Eagles/Seahawks
Wise Orangutan: Vikings/Falcons/Eagles
The Strategist: Panthers/Steelers/Chiefs (3 points)
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Steelers
B-Reezy: Chiefs/Saints/Steelers
Atwork: Eagles/Steelers/Patriots
Craft Brew: Steelers/Seahawks/Patriots

Playoff clinchers:

Steelers | Division Title | 2 points

Eagles | Division Title | 2 points

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Fibonacci Stakes IV | Leg 5 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Steelers*/Chiefs*
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots*
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks*
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs*/Eagles*/Bills
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs*/Eagles*
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers*
B-Reezy: Chiefs*/Saints*/Steelers*
Atwork: Eagles*/Chiefs*/Rams*
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Patriots*/Chiefs

Analyst of the Week
Kal Krome

Our Celebrity Analyst Roasters:

The Bookie: Kal Krome grew up in Alaska where hockey is the favored sport. So when moving to Washington and watching the Seahawks he was known to yell at the refs “That was icing!” Eventually he learned the penalties and watched the Seahawks commit many of them. When he joined the WFTL he felt he was ready to make educated picks. He occasionally has stumbled onto a correct trifecta but hastily picks himself up, brushes himself off and follows the next week with “what was he thinking?” Because of this he began to exaggerate about himself. So he changed his dog Jake’s name to Five Miles so he could tell everyone he walked Five Miles today.

Big Tuna: Umm. No. I believe that man would frighten Chuck Norris.

Little Tuna: Kal Krome mottos are: First Aide kit? “You mean duct tape!”
Decaffeinated coffee? “You mean bitch tea!”

The Wise Orangutan: I have had plenty of opportunities to roast Kal Krome over the past two years, so I will just wish him happy holidays and thank him for the past two years. Besides, who knows when I will need to find a funny farm to pasture The Bookie and Little Tuna.

The Strategist: Kal has taken this derby thing wayyy too seriously. He even has the best horse name! But he needs to stop getting his picks from his actual horses…yes, it’s a “horse” race but…umm…it’s football (with people).

Craft Brew: Bookie (in drivers seat). “Kal krome. Check to see if my rear blinkers are working?”
Kal krome ( behind car). “Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. ”

B-Reezy: You sure know how to pick them!!!

Atwork: You’re such a nice guy to have faith in the Hawks these last years Kal Krome but I think it’s time to pick one of the superior birds as shown by this season!

The Results Are (Coming) In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Steelers*/Chiefs*
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots* (8 points)
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks* (8 points)
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs*/Eagles*/Bills
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs*/Eagles*
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers* (8 points)
B-Reezy: Chiefs*/Saints*/Steelers*
Atwork: Eagles*/Chiefs*/Rams*
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Patriots*/Chiefs*

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Fibonacci Stakes IV | Leg 4 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Steelers*/Chiefs
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots*
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks*
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs*/Seahawks*/Eagles
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs*/Eagles
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers*
B-Reezy: Chiefs*/Saints*/Steelers*
Atwork: Eagles*/Saints/Steelers
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Seahawks*/Patriots

Analyst of the Week
The Strategist

Our Celebrity Analyst Roasters:

The Bookie: The Strategist is a modest Analyst, with much to be modest about.
Lately she’s had delusions of adequacy.
She thinks she could win a trophy this year!!
You’ll never hear her say “it’s only a game” she’s more likely to say “if winning isn’t everything, why do we keep score???

Big Tuna: Goes up to the microphone. Blushes furiously. Giggles and says, “Pretty!”

Little Tuna: The Strategist has to live with Wise O. I don’t believe in kicking a horse when it’s down.

The Wise Orangutan: I would roast The Strategist, but if I were to describe the analytical genius in action, it would be an embarrassment to those of us who trail in the AoY competition. I mean, maybe there is some benefit in reading predictive analytics and expert picks every week, but what is the point when you are like a ninth-level, ninja pop psychologist who can divine which team “wants it more this week” just by looking at the teams on the schedule…

Kal Krome: What kind of strategist is The Strategist? I’ve met the Wise O?!?

Craft Brew: Happy Birthday Matt!! Do you know how the strategist was able to supply and buy your diapers when you needed to be changed When you were a baby? By taking your uncles money stash from under his mattress! When we were kids. ! LOL!!

B-Reezy: The Queen of Lies and Deceit has assimilated the memory of her winning the Analyst of the Year trophy obviously.

Atwork: even the crickets are quiet. Shhh

The Results Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Steelers*/Chiefs
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots*
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks* (6 points)
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs*/Seahawks*/Eagles
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs*/Eagles
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers*
B-Reezy: Chiefs*/Saints*/Steelers*
Atwork: Eagles*/Saints/Steelers
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Seahawks*/Patriots (5 points)

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Fibonacci Stakes IV | Leg 3 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Saints*/Steelers*
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots*
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks*
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs/Saints/Seahawks
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs/Saints
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers*
B-Reezy: Chiefs/Saints/Steelers
Atwork: Eagles/Chiefs/Rams*
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Seahawks*/Saints*

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

The Results Are (Coming) In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Saints*/Steelers*
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots*
Little Tuna: Patriots*/Rams*/Seahawks*
Wise Orangutan: Chiefs/Saints/Seahawks
The Strategist: Steelers*/Chiefs/Saints
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers*
B-Reezy: Chiefs/Saints/Steelers
Atwork: Eagles/Chiefs/Rams*
Craft Brew: Steelers*/Seahawks*/Saints*

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Fibonacci Stakes IV | Leg 2 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Saints*/Steelers
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots
Little Tuna: Patriots/Rams*/Seahawks*
Wise Orangutan: Panther*/Steelers/Rams
The Strategist: Panthers*/Rams*/Steelers
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers
B-Reezy: Rams*/Panthers/Patriots
Atwork: Seahawks/Rams/Steelers
Craft Brew: Steelers/Seahawks*/Saints*

What Did the Fish Say when it ran into the Wall??

Dam!

Craft Brews got a million of ’em!

Ha-cha-cha-chaaaaaaa!

Atwork: Seahawks/Rams/Steelers

The Results Are In:

The Bookie: Rams*/Saints*/Steelers (3 points)
The Big Tuna: Saints*/Seahawks*/Patriots (3 points)
Little Tuna: Patriots/Rams*/Seahawks* (3 points)
Wise Orangutan: Panther*/Steelers/Rams (2 points)
The Strategist: Panthers*/Rams*/Steelers (3 points)
Kal Krome: Seahawks*/Saints*/Steelers (3 points)
B-Reezy: Rams*/Panthers/Patriots (2 points)
Atwork: Seahawks/Rams/Steelers (1 point)
Craft Brew: Steelers/Seahawks*/Saints* (3 points)

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Fibonacci Stakes IV | Leg 1 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Rams/Seahawks/Saints
The Big Tuna: Saints/Seahawks/Eagles
Little Tuna: Rams/Seahawks/Eagles
Wise Orangutan: Cardinals/Panthers/Saints
The Strategist: Panther/Rams/Saints
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Giants
B-Reezy: Rams/Cardinals/Seahawks
Atwork: Eagles/Chiefs/Falcons
Craft Brew: Eagles/Saints/Seahawks

Courtesy of Craft Brew:

Horse walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, “Why the Long Face?!!!”

The Results Are In:

The Bookie: Rams/Seahawks/Saints
The Big Tuna: Saints/Seahawks/Eagles
Little Tuna: Rams/Seahawks/Eagles
Wise Orangutan: Cardinals/Panthers/Saints (1 point)
The Strategist: Panther/Rams/Saints (1 point)
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints/Giants
B-Reezy: Rams/Cardinals/Seahawks
Atwork: Eagles/Chiefs/Falcons
Craft Brew: Eagles/Saints/Seahawks

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Player Haters Preakness IV | Leg 4 Picks

The Analysts’ Picks Are In:

The Bookie: Bengals/Cowboys/Steelers
The Big Tuna: Steelers/Cowboys/Saints*
Little Tuna: Cowboys/Steelers/Colts*
Wise Orangutan: Seahawks/Bengals/Saints*
The Strategist: Panthers/Seahawks/Saints*
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints*/Buccaneers*
B-Reezy: Panthers/Cowboys/Seahawks
Atwork: Seahawks/Redskins*/Saints*
Craft Brew: Steelers/Bengals/Saints*

A horse walks into a bar one day.

The bartender yells, “Hey!”

The horse says, “You read my mind!”

The Results Are (Coming) In:

The Bookie: Bengals/Cowboys/Steelers (1 point)
The Big Tuna: Steelers/Cowboys/Saints* (1 point)
Little Tuna: Cowboys/Steelers/Colts*
Wise Orangutan: Seahawks/Bengals/Saints* (1 point)
The Strategist: Panthers/Seahawks/Saints* (1 point)
Kal Krome: Seahawks/Saints*/Buccaneers*
B-Reezy: Panthers/Cowboys/Seahawks (1 point)
Atwork: Seahawks/Redskins*/Saints*
Craft Brew: Steelers/Bengals/Saints* (1 point)

Player Hater combinations:

Perfect Player Hater Trifecta: None.

2-Point Player Hater Trifecta: None.

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